I have recently talked to someone and the topic that arose was about plastic surgery and I was totally amazed as I never met a person who would actually plan on making a surgery.
And I felt so sad.
I emphasized with the person to an extend as I was also told that I have big nose and stuff life that and this made me want to make surgery . But not anymore…
And I also remembered about the poem I learnt at high school called “Lesson about the cube” by Nichita Stanescu… I found here a translation from Romanian by Andreea Sufaru, on her blog called “Switching Words” : https://switchingwords.wordpress.com/2014/11/18/lesson-about-the-cube/
The idea behind the poem is that when something is imperfect, it is, in fact beautiful, but most of the people do not believe that. When the cube is looking as all the other cubes that exist in this world, perfect, with all the parts parallel and of the same size, it has nothing to distinguish itself from the others. But when, like in the poem, a part of it is taken away, it is different. So there is something about it that attracts the eye, that makes it stand out of the crowd.
I also remember that when I was in school, the teacher asked us: don’t you have cold feelings for the people who are perfect? And the answer is most of the time yes! You feel far away from them and as if they do not bring any feelings inside of you. And this is because we, as human beings, have imperfections and flaws. So when we interact with someone who is physically as close to perfection as possible, we do not feel close to them, because we cannot relate to them! We put them somewhere so high up and far away from us.
At the time I firstly came across this poem, I was totally impressed by it and felt that finally somebody understands me. A dead poet ! haha But actually, even to this day, I relate to it. Yes, I am no longer as affected by the imperfection, because I read a lot of books about self-confidence and self-compassion and self-love. And I tried practicing some of the activities recommended there in my life. And all of them make a key point the fact that each and every person has imperfections (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and that actually they bring us closer.
I don’t say that it is easy to get to have this kind of mindset (I still don’t have it all the time), because it took me some years to have more compassion for the way my nose looks like, after I have been told by guys that I am ugly. It hurt. It angered me. But at the end, it made me who I am today. The way I was born (with a nose that’s not an average measure), the event when it became wry (due to having a ball fallen on my nose while aiming for the hoop when I was playing basketball) and the moments when I was told directly or indirectly that I am ugly, I am not as beautiful as others and attractive, brought me to where I am today.
I understand now that if someone tells you something bad or acts badly, they actually have an issue deep inside. And that you need to be understanding and compassionate to them. And that you shouldn’t take it personally. You just happened to be the one that they threw their angriness and sadness to.
So I do believe that taking surgery should not be the first solution to go for when facing similar issues. Yes, it is a solution, but why to put yourself through so much pain if it may be another way to solve the problem?
Tell me, have you ever been through something similar? How did you feel? How did you overcome it? Do you struggle even more than me? Just say what’s the issue and maybe we can talk about it!
Song suggestion: Colbie Caillat’s “Try “.